3 Years and Counting....

This past weekend Ozzie and I celebrated 3 years of marriage. Its hard to believe that its already been three years. Although it feels like we have been married forever at the same time it seems like just yesterday we walked down the isle.

We spent our anniversary at a good friends wedding. It was a beautiful wedding despite the weather! The funny thing is that we had a snow storm on our wedding day as well. I'm sure the bride didn't feel that way but it made us laugh a bit, Because who thinks you are going to have snow in October.

As I look back on the past 3 years and even beyond (we have been together for 10 years) I am just so thankful to have a man like Ozzie by my side. He is such a strong man of faith, and he treats me with such love and respect. Whenever other women start complaining about their husbands, that they don't clean up after themselves, help with the kids, or do anything around the house unless asked a dozen time; I always have to keep my mouth shut. Ozzie not only does the house chores without being asked, he cleans up after himself better then I do, and he is always willing to help with Elly. Even in the middle of the night when she wakes up to feed, he gets up and changes her diaper while I get ready. Not to mention that he is also very handsome :) I really am a lucky girl!. I still sometimes find it hard to believe that a man like that loves me!

Even with our ups and downs I can honestly say that I love Ozzie more today then I did when we first got married! He is still my best friend and I still get butterflies every time he enters a room!

I am excited to see what God has planned for our growing family in the years too come!

October 29, 2008

 October 29, 2011

FRIENDS...

I am sitting here at work, everyone is a sleep and although I wishI was asleep also, I am sitting here thinking about friends. what a blessing they are and how much treasure them!

This week I had a good friend from France visit me. I have been friends with her and her family for a little over 10 yrs now and although we don't keep intouch as often as I would like and we only get to see each other ever couple yrs or so, when I do get to visit with her or any of her sisters, its like we were never apart!

Then this weekend I have a friend visiting with her children from Bethlehem. Her and I have also been friends for over 10 yrs. We always have so much fun together and can talk about anything and I do mean an-y-thing!

Many of my friends have been in my life for many, many year. Infact, my best friend has been my friend since we were 6. What a blessing it is to have friends who I have known for so many years and have been with me for many of lifes milestones!

I am also lucky enough to have good friends who are in the same season of life as me. We have all gotten married around the same time and have children around the same age.

I have friends who live near who I get to see all the time, then I have those friends who I don't get to see that often, but who are just as dear to me. This is  not to say that I have tons and tons of friends, no my friends are not many in number but they are true friends which is not easy to come by!

Its late and I am trying to stay awake. I apologize for the typos as I am writing this on my husbands blackberry in the dark.

Thank you to all my friends I am blessed to have you all in my life!

DEDICATE....

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." (Deuteronomy 6:5-7)

Ellyana got dedicated yesterday, it was a beautiful service and we were grateful to have our family and friends there with us! Afterwards we had dinner at my parents house. It was really nice to have both families together. It doesn't happen to often, so we were really happy!

Last night, while everyone was sleeping I found myself thinking about what it really meant for us to dedicate Ellyana to the Lord. I know why we do it, but I never took the time to really think about what that meant to us as parents. ( I mean I guess I really wouldn't since this is the first time where I am the parent..lol ) I didn't want the dedication of Ellyana just to be something that we did because its expected, you know? So although maybe I did it a little backwards, I went on the computer to look up what the definition of dedicated is, and this is what I found:

ded·i·cate

 1. to set apart and consecrate to a deity or to a sacred purpose.

2. to devote wholly and earnestly, as to some person or purpose:

Wow, right? What an awesome responsibility! We stood up in front of our family, friends, and church family to declare that we will set Ellyana apart for GOD for a sacred purpose. After I got done contemplating that for awhile!, I then started thinking about how we do that. ( as you can imagine, I didn't get much sleep last night) Thats when I came across the verse above, Deuteronomy 6:65-7. Although I have heard this verse many, many times in the past, last night it took on a whole new meaning for me! And although I know there are many verses on raising a child in the ways of the Lord, for me, this one kinda summed it up;

1. I have to lead by example! To Love the LORD with all my heart, soul and strength
2. I have to continually impress upon my children the ways of the LORD.

I spent alot of time praying that the Lord would help us to be an example to Elly of living for the LORD, and that we would take the time for those "teachable moments," to use ever opportunity to guide her in the ways of the LORD!

BALANCING ACT...

So I have been wanting to write about feeling like my life is one big balancing act for a few days now, but I have been busy and haven't had a chance to put my thoughts all down. which just verifies my point.

After three months of motherhood I am still having trouble balancing being a mom, wife, friend, and so forth. I think about single parents with one or more kids and I don't know how they do it! I have a new found respect for mothers in general. I want to just spend all day/night with my baby girl. She is so much fun, I love wacthing her experience new things. It seems like she learns something new every day. BUT I also have a life to live. I have a job, friends, ministry, a husband; All things that need my attention and I find it hard to balance it all out!

I am grateful that my job as a homecare nurse allows such a flexible schedule. Right now I am only working Friday nights (10pm-6am) and I have been picking up extra nights here and there. I feel alittle bad because financially it has put a little strain on us, but I am just not willing to give up any more time with  my baby.I am afraid to miss something. I feel selfish being that way, but then another part of me feels like thats whats best for my daughter so..

I also have responsibilities at the corps. I recently took the position of helping out the the young people, which I love. But I have been finding it hard to really put my heart into it. Don't get me wrong, I love the kids, and working with them, but I find that I would rather be home with my baby. I bring her with me, but I am distracted the whole time. My husband takes her while I teach, and he is wonderful with her, but I still find myself constantly looking for her, making sure she is ok. It will change I know, but at the moment I am feeling stretched in two different directions. 

I also kinda feel like I've been neglecting my responsibilities as a wife. I mean I do just enough so the house isn't in complete disarray but there are always dishes in the sing, clothes in the basket, and a dog that needs to be walked. I blame it on the fact that its hard with a breastfeeding infant to really get too much done. You have to take a break ever two hrs to feed the baby, but the truth of the matter is, the time I could be cleaning I spend reading, singing, or playing with Ellyana. I mean whats better then that right?  Also, I love to cook and I was surprised to find that I am not to bad at it. Before the baby well really before the pregnancy because I couldn't even enter the kicthen when I was pregnant, I was cooking all the time and trying different recipes, I loved having dinner on the table when my husband came home from work, now my husband is lucky if he has anything on the table at all. Through it all, my husband never, ever has complained, which is nice for me but in some ways it also makes me feel worse. He comes home from work and does the dishes or puts the clothes away, always with a smile on his face. I am so thankful for him. BUT nevertheless it still makes me feel like a bit of a failure. I don't mean to be so dramatic but I am a mother, I am suppose to be able to do it all, right? My mother did it, my mother-in-law did it, why can't I?

I think about the Proverbs 31 women. I am so far from that type of women. I would love nothing more then to be able to say that I am "up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day" (proverbs 31:12) or that I am "skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking." (proverbs 31:16)  but I can't even come close to saying that. I can't even sew on a button!

I know, I know that I have only been a mom for three months and these things all come with time, but in  the moment, its hard!

I want to be the best mom, friend, wife, etc, that the Lord has called me to be. I am just having a hard time figuring out how to do that!

If someone out there had figured it out, please tell me!!

Until then I am going to continue to spend time with my baby, and try to do what I can about the other things :)

So thats whats been on my mind these past couple of days.

Sorry for another long post, hopefully they wont be so long in the future.

FALL FUN!!

So I started this post yesterday but it was such a long day I didn't get a chance to post it till today...

            Fall is my favorite season of the year! I love the colors, the weather, and just the smell of autumn! These past few days have been the perfect fall days! We had a long, busy weekend but it was so much fun. Here are some highlights:

FRIDAY:

• A Wonderful 3 hour Gospel Choir Rehearsal.

 SATURDAY:

•  Shopping for an interview outfit for my mom. Watching her get a brand new designer suite set and walking in heals.

• Noticing after a full afternoon of shopping that Ozzie had left the house with 2 different pairs of shoes on. For those who know my husband know that, that is completely out of character for him. He blamed it on daddy brain. ( Is that a thing? I don't know ) So funny!!

• Getting Ellyana's dedication outfit, then going to dinner at Via Napoli (yummy!)

SUNDAY:

• A wonderful worship service with guest speaker, Captain Laro who spoke on Nehemiah and gave us a great example on how to pray! Very interesting an convicting. Praying that I will be successful! Whatever that looks like to the Lord!

• Lunch with Captains Laro, Majors Riley, Madeline, and the kids :) We went to talk about training; What our feelings are towards it, what their feelings are towards it and where we go from here. It was a good time. The Laros have a wonderful philosophy on how they want to approach their job. It was very refreshing to have people who are willing to talk to us, pray with us, and work with us on our "calling" to go to training, rather the just try to push us in as fast as possible. Its alittle scary because we've known for a long time that we would be going to training one day, but now its real. So..that left us with alot to think/pray about ( for those who aren't Salvationist, I will explain more about what I mean about going to training another time)

• Gospel choir concert with the West Chester dance group, ARC, and West Philly Corps. It was an AWESOME time of worship. It was so great to perform for a group of people who join in and worship with us, so its not like we are performing for an audience, but we are all worshiping together. It was a very blessed time!

MONDAY:

This is the only day that I have some pictures of.

• Linvilla Orchards with our friends! (some of us took off work for this trip:) )

• Ellyana's first hayride. It was the perfect weather for it!

After we left I realized we never did get a pumpkin..oops. BUT we did get apples, and my new favorite thing; Apple Cider Doughnuts (soo good!)

Afterwards we all got together with those who couldn't make it on our day trip for dinner at Pei Wei. Where Ellyana held her bottle for the first time.. I couldn't believe it! She is going to be my little independent girl!

I am so grateful to God that I have such a wonderful family, and friends who make beautiful fall days all the more beautiful!!

3 MONTHS....

Today my baby girl is 3 months. I can't believe how fast time has gone. I know everyone says "enjoy ever minute because they grow up so fast", and a part of me always knew that to be true, but to experience it

for myself is a whole other story. I feel like I blink and a whole month has passed! I am enjoying ever minute of it though, I have to tell you. Watching Elly grow and learn is so incredible! She has always been so alert but now she is starting to interact more. Its so fun. She "talks" to me all the time and tries to copy different things I do. Like blowing raspberries with my lips, or sticking out my tongue. She also seems to like when I sing, she starts smiling and kicking her feet, its supper cute!I feel so blessed!!

Each month I've been taking pictures of Elly in her crib with her animals to trace get growth. Seeing them side by side you can really see how much she has changed in 3 months!

                                                                    Ellyana at two weeks.

                                                                            At 1 month

                                                                          At  2 months

                                                                           At 3 months

Blogging...

So I am new to this whole blogging thing ,please be patient with me. I am not really sure where I am going with it, or what it will turn into. I have been trying to journal about the first year of being a new mom but haven't been very good at keeping up with it. I figured that I would probably do better if I was able to type it up. So, here I find myself. I have spent about an hr trying to set this thing up and am still not sure if I did it right? My daugher is now crying, so I will need to come back to this another time. Hopefully, I will do better with this then I have with my journal...Wish me luck.