Thursday, December 8, 2011
The Night Life...
So I decides that I HATE night work, I really do! I am sitting here at work, it's 2:00 am and I am just wishing with everything in me that i was home, in bed next to my husband asleep! BUT at the same time I am grateful for night work. Without it I wouldn't be able to be home with my daughter during the day, which I love! So I guess I can't completely hate night work! Wish there was a way I could do it all, be at home during the day with sweet pea, be in bed at night with my husband, and work! Since I haven't found a way to do that yet, I will settle for the night life. I must apologize in advance for what I am sure will be many more middle of the night post that really make no sense. Now I must go pump, praying it doesn't wake my patient!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
THANKSGIVING....
Since today is Thanksgiving I feel that I would be remiss if I didn't share some of what I am Thankful for this year. I really do have SO much to be thankful for! Many times I get overwhelmed with the activities of daily life that I forget to take a step back and count my blessings, unfortunately sometimes I tend to focus on the negative, the struggles, and hardships I may face. When in reality I have so much more to be Thankful for then not. This year some things I am Thankful for are...
My beautiful, healthy baby girl!
My amazing husband
Wonderful family
Great friends
A job ( spefically one that allows me to be home with my baby)
A incredible church family
Pastors who are spirit lead and have a hearT for our community
Reconnecting with family and friends!
Couples group
A God who loves me more then I can imagine!
Happy Thanksgivving all!
My beautiful, healthy baby girl!
My amazing husband
Wonderful family
Great friends
A job ( spefically one that allows me to be home with my baby)
A incredible church family
Pastors who are spirit lead and have a hearT for our community
Reconnecting with family and friends!
Couples group
A God who loves me more then I can imagine!
Happy Thanksgivving all!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Self Esteem...
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts,God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you."
~Psalms 139: 13-18
This verse is very dear to my heart and recently has taking on a whole new meaning to me with the birth of my daughter.
I have always struggled with low self esteem; never feeling pretty enough, smart enough, or good enough at anything! It wasn't until one day I was reading this verse (which I had read a hundred times before) when the Lord opened up my eyes and heart to the awesome truth that are in the verses above. That the Lord himself, knit me together, he created ever part of me. All that I am, my looks, my talents, my personality, etc were all created by Him and is wonderful!
Its sad that I didn't accept these truths until I was in my twenties. I think if I was to believe that I am" fearfully and wonderfully made." earlier in life, my teenage years may have been much different. I spent alot of time feeling bad about myself, lacked confidence, and allowed the way I felt about myself to keep me from doing many things that I otherwise would of enjoyed doing.
I know that many teens, girls inparticular struggle with low self esteem, and I wish I could just convey to them all how precious they are, how beautiful, and wonderful. That God Himself created them and that they are perfect! Now that I have a daughter of my own I want to do that even more!
I never want Ellyana to feel about herself the way that I did growing up. I want her to know she is beautiful, smart, talented..etc. But how do I do that?? Its so hard in a world that puts so much emphasis on looks; if you don't fit into what the world says is beautiful, then you feel ugly. If you don't measure up to what the world says is successful, then you feel like a failure.
I don't want my daughter to base who she is on her looks, but at the same time I want her to feel beautiful. I want to her to be humble and kind, but also to have the confidence to go out and do whatever she puts her mind to do. I want her to reach for the sky, but don't want her to feel like a failure if she becomes "just" a teacher, or "just" a mother. ( I think these jobs are anything but "just". I'm talking about how the world views these career choices)
How do I cultivated a child to be a women with these characteristics that seem to be so contradictory?
I read the verses above to Ellyana over and over, I want them to become real to hear at an early age. I tell her shes beautiful all the time,and I pray these hopes I have for her over her every night. I find myself very sensitive when anyone makes a comment about her such as "aww too bad she didn't get your eyes" or "uh oh looks like shes going to have crazy, curly hair". It was comments like these that people made about me growing up that left me with alot of the self image issues that I struggled with. People don't realize just how words stick with people, especially children. So when people say things like that around my daughter I am quick to snap at them. I know they mean no harm, but I want only positive comments said around my daughter about her looks. Weather she has the kinky curly hair or the "good" hair as my husbands family calls it. I don't ever want her to hear that she doesn't have the "good" hair, or that it was too bad she got her dads kinky curly hair. I know that its impossible for me to protect her from all the things that may lead her to question her own self worth. My hope is that I will be able to instill in her the truth of the verse of Psalms 139 so that when those times come she will be able to grab a hold of those truths and rise above!
I still struggle with my own self esteem from time to time and when I do I just read those verses again and again to myself till I start to believe them again! I hope that if anyone who is reading this feels the same way that you will take the time to read and meditate over those verses till the truth becomes ingrained in your heart as well.
~Psalms 139: 13-18
This verse is very dear to my heart and recently has taking on a whole new meaning to me with the birth of my daughter.
I have always struggled with low self esteem; never feeling pretty enough, smart enough, or good enough at anything! It wasn't until one day I was reading this verse (which I had read a hundred times before) when the Lord opened up my eyes and heart to the awesome truth that are in the verses above. That the Lord himself, knit me together, he created ever part of me. All that I am, my looks, my talents, my personality, etc were all created by Him and is wonderful!
Its sad that I didn't accept these truths until I was in my twenties. I think if I was to believe that I am" fearfully and wonderfully made." earlier in life, my teenage years may have been much different. I spent alot of time feeling bad about myself, lacked confidence, and allowed the way I felt about myself to keep me from doing many things that I otherwise would of enjoyed doing.
I know that many teens, girls inparticular struggle with low self esteem, and I wish I could just convey to them all how precious they are, how beautiful, and wonderful. That God Himself created them and that they are perfect! Now that I have a daughter of my own I want to do that even more!
I never want Ellyana to feel about herself the way that I did growing up. I want her to know she is beautiful, smart, talented..etc. But how do I do that?? Its so hard in a world that puts so much emphasis on looks; if you don't fit into what the world says is beautiful, then you feel ugly. If you don't measure up to what the world says is successful, then you feel like a failure.
I don't want my daughter to base who she is on her looks, but at the same time I want her to feel beautiful. I want to her to be humble and kind, but also to have the confidence to go out and do whatever she puts her mind to do. I want her to reach for the sky, but don't want her to feel like a failure if she becomes "just" a teacher, or "just" a mother. ( I think these jobs are anything but "just". I'm talking about how the world views these career choices)
How do I cultivated a child to be a women with these characteristics that seem to be so contradictory?
I read the verses above to Ellyana over and over, I want them to become real to hear at an early age. I tell her shes beautiful all the time,and I pray these hopes I have for her over her every night. I find myself very sensitive when anyone makes a comment about her such as "aww too bad she didn't get your eyes" or "uh oh looks like shes going to have crazy, curly hair". It was comments like these that people made about me growing up that left me with alot of the self image issues that I struggled with. People don't realize just how words stick with people, especially children. So when people say things like that around my daughter I am quick to snap at them. I know they mean no harm, but I want only positive comments said around my daughter about her looks. Weather she has the kinky curly hair or the "good" hair as my husbands family calls it. I don't ever want her to hear that she doesn't have the "good" hair, or that it was too bad she got her dads kinky curly hair. I know that its impossible for me to protect her from all the things that may lead her to question her own self worth. My hope is that I will be able to instill in her the truth of the verse of Psalms 139 so that when those times come she will be able to grab a hold of those truths and rise above!
I still struggle with my own self esteem from time to time and when I do I just read those verses again and again to myself till I start to believe them again! I hope that if anyone who is reading this feels the same way that you will take the time to read and meditate over those verses till the truth becomes ingrained in your heart as well.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
CELEBRATE!!
Today we celebrated our God-Daughter's 2nd birthday. We drove to Bethlehem PA after church and went to the Hard Wok, Chinese buffet. It was delicious food and great company. The restaurant was the same place that we had her parents reception when they got married and Natasha's first birthday party, so we have alittle bit of history at the restaurant. I still can't tell if they love us or hate us..haha
It's hard to believe that Tasha is already two years old. Last year at her party both her mother and I were pregnant and didn't know it. This year, with my little one I couldn't help thinking that one day that would be us. Celebrating Elly's first birthday, then 2nd, 3rd and so forth. When I was pregnant I was just so focused on having Ellyana, meeting her for the first time, and all the "first" we would get to experience with her, I never thought much further then that but once she was here I can't help but think about what kind of toddler, little girl, teenager, and adult she is going to turn out to be. I often find myself looking at other kids and thinking. " I wonder if Elly is going to be like that when she is that age" or "I wonder if Elly will look like that when she gets older" So of course today singing Happy Birthday to Tasha, I was trying to picture Elly being two.
I see how fast the time has gone for our friends with children. One minute we are visiting them at the hospital to meet their baby and the next we are celebrating their first birthday. It's crazy! Apart of me is looking forward to seeing Elly reach all those different milestones but another part of me just wants to keep her little forever :)
Natasha got lots of dolls and accessories for dolls, I am sure she is having loads of fun tonight! Happy Birthday Tasha!!
It's hard to believe that Tasha is already two years old. Last year at her party both her mother and I were pregnant and didn't know it. This year, with my little one I couldn't help thinking that one day that would be us. Celebrating Elly's first birthday, then 2nd, 3rd and so forth. When I was pregnant I was just so focused on having Ellyana, meeting her for the first time, and all the "first" we would get to experience with her, I never thought much further then that but once she was here I can't help but think about what kind of toddler, little girl, teenager, and adult she is going to turn out to be. I often find myself looking at other kids and thinking. " I wonder if Elly is going to be like that when she is that age" or "I wonder if Elly will look like that when she gets older" So of course today singing Happy Birthday to Tasha, I was trying to picture Elly being two.
I see how fast the time has gone for our friends with children. One minute we are visiting them at the hospital to meet their baby and the next we are celebrating their first birthday. It's crazy! Apart of me is looking forward to seeing Elly reach all those different milestones but another part of me just wants to keep her little forever :)
Natasha got lots of dolls and accessories for dolls, I am sure she is having loads of fun tonight! Happy Birthday Tasha!!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
My Favorite Things...
Today we had a get together at my sister and her boyfriend's new place. It was alot of fun and I enjoyed getting to know her boyfriends family. His niece in particular was alot of fun. Her and I hit it off right from the beginning, she is almost 10yrs old and is in the fourth grade. She reminded me alot of myself when I was younger. She loves to read and is a little odd, but in a sweet endearing type of way. We were there for two hrs and the whole time she asked me about my favorite things. ALL my favorite things. Some I never thought of before like what my favorite shape was. (diamond encase you were wondering) It was fun and made me think. I decided that I am going to be like Oprah and write down what my favorite things are. When I get a good enough list I will post it.
Besides talking to my new friend, it was nice to just all be together and enjoy one anothers company. With our busy schedules it doesn't happen to often.
I am excited for my sister and her boyfriend, they are so happy to finally have their own place ( they had room mates in the past) Its a small studio, but its nice, clean, and theirs so its perfect for them.
Besides talking to my new friend, it was nice to just all be together and enjoy one anothers company. With our busy schedules it doesn't happen to often.
I am excited for my sister and her boyfriend, they are so happy to finally have their own place ( they had room mates in the past) Its a small studio, but its nice, clean, and theirs so its perfect for them.
Monday, October 31, 2011
3 Years and Counting....
This past weekend Ozzie and I celebrated 3 years of marriage. Its hard to believe that its already been three years. Although it feels like we have been married forever at the same time it seems like just yesterday we walked down the isle.
We spent our anniversary at a good friends wedding. It was a beautiful wedding despite the weather! The funny thing is that we had a snow storm on our wedding day as well. I'm sure the bride didn't feel that way but it made us laugh a bit, Because who thinks you are going to have snow in October.
As I look back on the past 3 years and even beyond (we have been together for 10 years) I am just so thankful to have a man like Ozzie by my side. He is such a strong man of faith, and he treats me with such love and respect. Whenever other women start complaining about their husbands, that they don't clean up after themselves, help with the kids, or do anything around the house unless asked a dozen time; I always have to keep my mouth shut. Ozzie not only does the house chores without being asked, he cleans up after himself better then I do, and he is always willing to help with Elly. Even in the middle of the night when she wakes up to feed, he gets up and changes her diaper while I get ready. Not to mention that he is also very handsome :) I really am a lucky girl!. I still sometimes find it hard to believe that a man like that loves me!
Even with our ups and downs I can honestly say that I love Ozzie more today then I did when we first got married! He is still my best friend and I still get butterflies every time he enters a room!
I am excited to see what God has planned for our growing family in the years too come!
We spent our anniversary at a good friends wedding. It was a beautiful wedding despite the weather! The funny thing is that we had a snow storm on our wedding day as well. I'm sure the bride didn't feel that way but it made us laugh a bit, Because who thinks you are going to have snow in October.
As I look back on the past 3 years and even beyond (we have been together for 10 years) I am just so thankful to have a man like Ozzie by my side. He is such a strong man of faith, and he treats me with such love and respect. Whenever other women start complaining about their husbands, that they don't clean up after themselves, help with the kids, or do anything around the house unless asked a dozen time; I always have to keep my mouth shut. Ozzie not only does the house chores without being asked, he cleans up after himself better then I do, and he is always willing to help with Elly. Even in the middle of the night when she wakes up to feed, he gets up and changes her diaper while I get ready. Not to mention that he is also very handsome :) I really am a lucky girl!. I still sometimes find it hard to believe that a man like that loves me!
Even with our ups and downs I can honestly say that I love Ozzie more today then I did when we first got married! He is still my best friend and I still get butterflies every time he enters a room!
I am excited to see what God has planned for our growing family in the years too come!
October 29, 2008
October 29, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
FRIENDS...
I am sitting here at work, everyone is a sleep and although I wishI was asleep also, I am sitting here thinking about friends. what a blessing they are and how much treasure them!
This week I had a good friend from France visit me. I have been friends with her and her family for a little over 10 yrs now and although we don't keep intouch as often as I would like and we only get to see each other ever couple yrs or so, when I do get to visit with her or any of her sisters, its like we were never apart!
Then this weekend I have a friend visiting with her children from Bethlehem. Her and I have also been friends for over 10 yrs. We always have so much fun together and can talk about anything and I do mean an-y-thing!
Many of my friends have been in my life for many, many year. Infact, my best friend has been my friend since we were 6. What a blessing it is to have friends who I have known for so many years and have been with me for many of lifes milestones!
I am also lucky enough to have good friends who are in the same season of life as me. We have all gotten married around the same time and have children around the same age.
I have friends who live near who I get to see all the time, then I have those friends who I don't get to see that often, but who are just as dear to me. This is not to say that I have tons and tons of friends, no my friends are not many in number but they are true friends which is not easy to come by!
Its late and I am trying to stay awake. I apologize for the typos as I am writing this on my husbands blackberry in the dark.
Thank you to all my friends I am blessed to have you all in my life!
This week I had a good friend from France visit me. I have been friends with her and her family for a little over 10 yrs now and although we don't keep intouch as often as I would like and we only get to see each other ever couple yrs or so, when I do get to visit with her or any of her sisters, its like we were never apart!
Then this weekend I have a friend visiting with her children from Bethlehem. Her and I have also been friends for over 10 yrs. We always have so much fun together and can talk about anything and I do mean an-y-thing!
Many of my friends have been in my life for many, many year. Infact, my best friend has been my friend since we were 6. What a blessing it is to have friends who I have known for so many years and have been with me for many of lifes milestones!
I am also lucky enough to have good friends who are in the same season of life as me. We have all gotten married around the same time and have children around the same age.
I have friends who live near who I get to see all the time, then I have those friends who I don't get to see that often, but who are just as dear to me. This is not to say that I have tons and tons of friends, no my friends are not many in number but they are true friends which is not easy to come by!
Its late and I am trying to stay awake. I apologize for the typos as I am writing this on my husbands blackberry in the dark.
Thank you to all my friends I am blessed to have you all in my life!
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